While according to Psychology Today’s “Perspectives on Valentine’s Day”, February 14 is an excellent example of a manmade cultural nexus of exultation and disappointment, the lone majority exulting the date is its biggest celebrator, the chocolate industry, which counts on reaping 24 percent of its annual $22.2 billion dollar sales just prior to the holiday. For the remainder of us, the jury is still out on whether Valentine’s Day is just a good excuse to eat chocolate, a reason for buying cards and flowers or for sensing dread. No matter the perspective, Cupid's celebration remains the one day out of 365 that encourages us to think about love, an emotion we are all capable of experiencing in its many forms—affectionate, erotic, enduring, romantic, selfless, friendship, familial, agape and even love for our four-legged companions.

For Valentine’s Day this year, which remains more emotionally challenging for individuals that have lost loved ones through death or breakup, focusing on another’s happiness can provide an emotional lift. Concentrating on or listening to stories about what has brought happiness into the life of a friend or relative can help us feel better regardless of our own situation.

Individuals that are not looking forward to February 14 might find it helpful to ponder what the day represents and commemorate it by giving thanks for the good fortune of having a special someone and giving them the best gift of all; our heartfelt feelings in writing. Anyone that has ever been fortunate to receive a precious letter expressing love from a late husband, wife, child or friend might consider framing it and placing it in an eye-catching spot where it becomes a forever joy.

Although Valentine’s Day has become very commercialized, it reminds us to count our blessings, which can spark a deep sense of gratitude and our hearts to well up with emotion. Rather than waiting for a specific date on the calendar that tells us how to express our feelings, find ways to let loved ones know every day how important they are and what they mean to us.

So focus attention on the special people in our lives and shower them with love and kindness. Giving is receiving, and the more we give and share our love with others, the more love, caring and kindness we attract every day of the year. 

Jennifer Vear Hoy is a psychotherapist and owner of Peaceful Summit Counseling, LLC located at 1048 Goodlette Rd., N., Ste. 201 in Naples. For more information, call 239-450-8090.

https://www.peacefulsummitcounseling.com/