Jennifer Vear Hoy, a psychotherapist and owner of Peaceful Summit Counseling in Naples, has been noticing a recurring theme in conversations with her clients, friends, and even strangers she encounters: people of all ages—from all walks of life, including teenagers—are talking about the same troubling issue: loneliness stemming from a lack of meaningful friendships.

The Prevalence of Loneliness

The issue of loneliness has become so widespread in the U.S. that the Office of the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory in 2023. Since then, the number of people experiencing loneliness has only increased.

“Although many people became lonelier during the COVID-19 pandemic, about half of American adults had already reported feelings of loneliness even before the outbreak,” says Vear Hoy.

The advisory Hoy refers to is titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation and the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. She offers this excerpt:

“Social connection—the structure, function, and quality of our relationships with others—is a critical and underappreciated contributor to individual and population health, community safety, resilience, and prosperity. However, far too many Americans lack social connection in one or more ways, compromising these benefits and leading to poor health and other negative outcomes.”

U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory

“The advisory describes loneliness as a state of mind: ‘a subjectively distressing experience that results from perceived isolation or inadequate meaningful connections.’ It also lists the leading causes of loneliness in America, according to a national survey,” explains Vear Hoy. “These include technology, insufficient time with family, overwork or being too busy, an overly individualistic culture, lack of religious or spiritual life, too much self-focus, and the changing nature of work.”

Research from the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common (MCC) project suggests several potential solutions, including promoting a culture of caring and service. “Collective service can provide meaningful connections that relieve loneliness,” the report notes, “while also cultivating purpose and mitigating mental health challenges.”

Other recommendations include encouraging public and private leaders to invest in social infrastructure to support the development of meaningful relationships. According to the survey, three-quarters of respondents expressed a desire for “more activities and fun community events” in their local areas and for “public spaces that are more accessible and connection-focused, like green spaces and playgrounds.”

What Psychology Today Says

According to Psychology Today, research supports the idea that individuals tend to prefer friendships with those they perceive as similar to themselves and with personalities they enjoy. Friends with strong social skills play a crucial role in fostering new connections.

“The people we like to be around are those who make us feel good about who we are, what we believe, and what we enjoy doing,” Vear Hoy notes. “While not everyone will meet all our preferences, those who support the most important aspects of our identity are the most likely to become close friends.”

Talk Salons

“Knowing how vital friendships are to both mental and physical health, I’ve decided to try something new—a way to bring people together in a safe, supportive environment where they can get to know one another, build emotional connections, and experience the joy and fun that are especially important in these chaotic, divisive times,” says Vear Hoy.

“I’m launching a Talk Salon—a gathering where people come together to exchange ideas around a central theme or chosen topic. Each participant gets a specific amount of time to share their viewpoint, and no one comments until everyone has spoken.”

The term salon originates from French intellectual salons, which were often hosted by women to foster dialogue among philosophers, writers, artists, and political thinkers. The concept dates back to 16th-century Italy and gained prominence in France during the 17th and 18th centuries. Today, talk salons still thrive in various formats, including informal meetups that encourage meaningful conversations among friends and like-minded individuals.

“We don’t need a large group of close friends,” Vear Hoy adds. “One or two deep, trustworthy, and meaningful relationships can make a significant difference. If someone doesn’t currently have close friends, it’s never too late to form them. Vulnerability, consistency, and shared experiences are key to developing closeness over time, and Talk Salons offer a wonderful opportunity for those relationships to blossom.”

Natural Awakenings readers can check the ongoing monthly calendar for the Talk Salon’s launch date and August location.

Peaceful Summit Counseling is located at 1048 Goodlette Rd., N., Ste. 201, in Naples. For more information, call 239-307-4708. Visit PeacefulSummitNaples.com.

Peaceful Summit Counseling - 1048 Goodlette Rd North, Suite 201, Naples, FL

Specializing in grief/loss, assertiveness training, anxiety, anger management, addictions, depression and relationship problems. Read More »